Black Turdas
"Black Turdas" is the 141st episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the 10th episode of Season 7. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the Falskaar (mod) Questline, specifically the quests "Warning Valfred" and "Strength and Wisdom." Plot Warning Valfred Mai Dik hurries back to Amber Creek to inform Jarl Agnar of the attack at Borvald. When Mai Dik mentions Yngvarr's (main villain) intent to use the "heart of the gods," Agnar starts rambling on about how the heart was used to warm Falskaar and the five guardians sealed the heart in a chamber in the mountains. In order to access it, they'll need all five keys kept safe by the guardians. The Jarl gathers his trusted commanders, Brother Thorlough and the Hjorgunnar Brothers, for a meeting (although Mai Dik forces the Jarl to dance right before it). Once informed that Borvald fell to the Yngvarrs, the men raged about the innocent lives lost and their proud city that was destroyed. Mai Dik, not understanding the severity of the situation, comments on how the city didn't have that many people in it and that it wasn't a great city to begin with. Warning everyone that Yngvarr is after the "heart of the gods," which would give him immortality, the Jarl asks his wife Jalma for her necklace, which contained the one of the keys. The Jarl proposes they split up to find the rest of the keys, Brother Thorlough and himself to Kalrun Monestary, the Hjorgunnar Brothers to Hjorgunnar manor. Mai Dik, feeling left out, asks the Jarl to give her a task. He tells her that she can either go with Brother Thorlough and him or with the Hjorgunnar Brothers. Mai Dik, certain of her arrow throwing abilities, asks why she can't just get them both. Agnar responds by saying they don't have the time. Mai Dik, astounded by the lack of self-awareness of how slowly Agnar and the others do things, tells him that she can ride a horse to their destination, a method of transportation much faster than the leisurely walk Agnar and his commanders engage in. Strength and Wisdom Deciding to go help the Hjorgunnar Brothers with their mission, Mai Dik climbs on top of a horse to cheat her way up a mountain range. Unfortunately, she cannot make her way and has to go around the mountain range and the Hjorgunnar Brothers catch up to her, even with their leisurely stroll to their destination. The Hjorgunnar Brothers tell Mai Dik that they'll need to get to the lower crypts of the manor to access the key. Once inside the manor, Mai Dik finds a way down to the cellar, but the Hjorgunnar Brothers have a secret cabinet they can walk through. Strolling through the secret passageway down to the crypts, the Hjorgunnar Brother find it suspicious that all of the torches and scones are lit (a common theme in Skyrim caves). They suspect some bandits might have camped out in the crypts. Mai Dik and Emre (his inner voice) talk about how perhaps there's a random person running around Skyrim lighting all of the torches. Emre: "Maybe a torch-ur-er. Like a sorcerer who specializes in torch magic." Mai Dik: "Or maybe, uh, someone who makes puns all the time. That sort of torturer." While it was an interesting theory, the Hjorgunnar Brother were right and the bandits were in fact camped out. Mai Dik, Squ'ishyballs, and the Hjorgunnar Brothers fight their way through. Bandit: "Anyone out there? Mai Dik: "Uh yeah me. I'm right here. You should probably aim high though. I'm really tall. Yup. Surprise, I'm short." Once they reach the end of the long passageway, a bandit stood alone without the key. The Hjorgunnar Brothers, in their anger, yells at the bandit, demanding answers to where the key was. The bandit told them that the key was carried to Bearclaw Cave for Yngvarr. Soon after, one of the Hjorgunnar strike down the bandit. Impressed, Mai Dik asked why they didn't spare the life of the bandit that told them the whereabouts of the key. Svegard tells her that the bandit that got struck down was one of Yngvarr's goons. Mai Dik, a little bit lost in her world, scrutinizes Svegard for his "hypocrisy." Mai Dik: "Most people are goons, shouldn't we kill everyone then? You've got to be consistent, Svegard. You can't just kill some goons and not others. You have to kill all goons if you kill one goon." After Mai Dik's nonsense, she finds out that there's a quick exit out of the crypts, exactly by the cellar that the Hjorgunnar Brothers avoided. Mai Dik and Emre lament that if they had just been hanging out by the cellar, then they would have caught the bandits who took the key. Video See also * Season 7 * Mai Dik Reference Category:Season 7 Category:Episodes